I was shocked! Social Media, Domestic Violence and Mental Health.
These last two weeks have been eventful social media wise. Never thought I would write a post about those three iconic topics in a single post. There is a first time for everything isn’t it. In saying that, the reality is that many people live their lives on social media. This has gotten to the stage where one speaker once said, can you book a holiday in a fancy resort or something and arrive and spend two weeks there and leave without posting on social media?
Here is the deal, whilst there is nothing wrong with posting whatever you like as long as you stay within the basic rules as stipulated by the relevant social networks. However, things can get messy. We are also seeing laws of different kinds starting to kick in, relating to things like copyright etc Ever tried to play a song during a Live broadcast and then the video was muted completely or partially?? Exactly! Many people have been banned from doing “Lives” or even posting for a month or so due to breaches etc. Of course, the terms and conditions of many of the social platforms will continue to evolve as necessary.
These past two weeks have been ‘noisy’’ when it comes to Social Media. If you are like me, you have probably seen videos of someone threatening to commit suicide a few days ago. Not only that, a few days earlier I saw a couple engaging in a messy fight that went nasty. Lets just say both parties had recorded each other and those recordings found their way to social media.
Relationships are all about trust right? If someone records their wife/husband without their knowing? What is this and where exactly are they in their relationship. Sounds like like a Mr and Mrs Smith situation ( Bradd Pitt and Angelina Jolie movie). The level of mistrust and mind games, oh my! How did we get here as a people to the point where private conversations are recorded behind each other’s backs and thrown to the social media wolves!
What I found disturbing was not only what was aired, but the level of malice. The manipulation, and the verbal abuse and just plain toxicity. When I wrote, Head to Head With Jezebel my heart was to share those warning traits that can safeguard and keep people in a healthy place. The person who threatened suicide, admitted in a separate post that they were in an abusive situation for more than a year or so. Obviously this is a very serious situation that drove someone to that low place.
In saying that, when it comes to relationships, abuse is never an easy topic to navigate. However, its effects on society are real. In Australia on average, one woman dies every week due to domestic violence! Let that sink in. Usually we often talk abuse as it relates to women, however, the truth is that even men too get abused. Often when its a man, he is often told to ‘’tough it out’’ etc. Many men sometimes find it very difficult to come forward with their cases due to the stigma associated with abuse from women. Many times, some of the women get away with it for many reasons. This may include charm or simply that they are expert manipulators. Once they set their machinery for horizontal abuse, many will think the woman is the one being abused, but those who dwell in facts will know, actually to the contrary the man is the victim. This is the thing with manipulators, they can step on your toes, and if not careful you are the one who end up apologising! Go figure!
Many people sometimes fail to realise that by the time someone starts getting physically abused, many times the abuse would have started in other forms. This is why it gets difficult for many people. If its emotional and psychological, essential a person’s self esteem is slowly but surely being chewed etc. The more time they spend in that abusive ‘situationship’ the more they are weakend and sometimes people do get ‘’broken’. Whilst physical abuse, provides evidence, psychological and emotional abuse though not seen can often be lethal.
With abuse comes mental health issues. The stress, and the general toxicity that comes with it. People have a threshold when it comes to handling pain and stress. Sometimes, things get too much. Im sure the people who saw the video I saw on Wednesday were very disturbed. It was a very deep and yearning cry for help and very distressing live. I happened to have watched it whilst the “Live” was over, but thankfully someone was able to attend to the person and stop the Live stream.
Going through the comments I could tell many people were basically traumatised to some degree with what they heard! With that, all I can say is that if you are in a toxic situation, the sooner you contact the relevant authorities for support the better. Some people are hoping that things will ‘’fix themselves’’, however reality is that what you allow what will continue. Some people were abused during dating and are now being abused in the marriage, and things are now more complicated, there are kids now. Again, on this one, the sooner you seek support the better. Often abusers sometimes have a systematic and deliberate way to cut that support. Financial abuse can often play a hand in some situations. This is why if you are a slay queen you dont throw yourself to ‘’sharks’ because you want the ‘’softlife’’, nothing wrong with a #softlife as long as you are prepared to work hard for that life. It gets messy when some of these ladies throw themselves in financial traps and chains that they cant get out of! Take it from me darling, there is nothing called a Free lunch! Manipulators can use anything as bait!
In closing, I think we are in an era where, “‘Self Care’’ is now a thing, and rightfully so! Many people sometimes we are far too busy and we are not taking breaks from our daily routines. Its easy to get carried away, but please do take time out for yourself. Wearing the ‘’Busy Badge’’ is so yesterday! Many people are striving for balance nowadays. Dont run on an ‘’empty tank’’. Its good to pour out, but please do take time out to replenish and fill your own cup. Last but not least, if you need help, go for it, its not weakness asking for support, its actually strength! Also, manage your social media, dont allow it to manage you!
Blessings you all! ( Recommended Reading
Wisdom V Mupudzi, Multipublished Award Winning Author.